I ask this as a 32 year old mother of a toddler, who has been dealing with serious back problems for over 13 years now (stemming from my 6 years in the Army). I have been to every type of medical and alternative type of professional out there and so far the pain only increases. Now it’s one thing to go from being a fully functioning, high level achiever to someone who is “disabled,” but add to that the responsibilities of single motherhood and all I want is to be the best mom I can for my daughter.

Over the past 8 years or so I have educated myself tremendously about the various medications and treatments I’ve been prescribed and those available. Unfortunately my only medical care is through the VA hospital so I am limited in my options. Over the 13 years of this ordeal thus far, doctors have prescribed probably 50-75 different types of medications and combinations thereof to try and treat my pain level. As of August 2007 (when I found out unexpectedly that I was pregnant) I was on 160 mg of Oxycontin plus about 8 Percocet, plus Valium, muscle relaxers, and two different types of depression medications – all just naturally prescribed by my doctors (not at my request, but without my objection). When I found out I was pregnant my pain management doctor actually told me it was OK to stay on all that medication and my baby would “just have to detox” after birth! I said no way in hell and I began to taper down my meds on my own, which I did incorrectly at first until I found another doctor that agreed with me about detoxing myself over the course of the pregnancy. By the time my daughter was born (perfect and healthy) I was down to 20 mg of oxycontin/day, one anti-depressant (although not the best treatment for my issue but best for my daughter while growing inside of me) and a very mild anti-anxiety med once in a while for severe attacks. I stayed at that level for 6 more months while breastfeeding then my doctor wanted to start increasing my pain meds again. I was in tremendous pain and was OK with increasing at that point. About 3 months ago I was up to 80 mg Oxycontin again and finally I decided it was enough and I requested to be tapered off the meds again since they weren’t really helping my pain level much anyway. OK, I realize this is long but I feel I need to give a little background, please bear with me.

So now with my narcotic pain regimen tapering down again (already to 40 mg/day) I decided to try to take control of the other aspect of my prescription care, which is my depression. The medication I am on now is not working that well for me and I am constantly exhausted, lack motivation and have a lot of trouble concentrating on anything. I asked my mental health professional if it was possible to change my prescription to another med, which is controversial but I have read a lot about it in treatment of depression and it has worked well for a friend of mine with similar situation. Instead of talking about that med or any other suitable similar meds, she INCREASED my dosage of the med I am already on.

So a few days ago I asked a question on here about why my doctor may have been so against the med I researched and asked her about and the answers I got were pretty darn dismissive and judgmental. It got me thinking about how I have been treated by everyone in my life when they find out about my prescription regimens. All I want, obviously, is to be the most functional, “whole” person I can be, especially now, for my daughter. What is wrong with that? Why is there so much judgment, criticism and discrimination against people who are merely trying to live more normal lives without horrible pain and suffering? I just don’t get it. Can anyone help me understand?

Thanks!
Honeysuite – Thank you. I am on the “list” for therapy at my local VA. Unfortunately, the VA system is way overburdened with all the soldiers coming back from the Middle East, and with all the ridiculous budget cuts… well, you get the idea.